Thursday, March 31, 2005

I have just got back from the Dentist for my root canal treatment. This involved an x-ray, so if I give birth to a deformed foetus, you know why. One of the most amazing things about this whole pregnancy thing for me, has been how you (generally, unless dying of tooth ache pain)already put the needs of someone else ahead of your own. I spent hours researching dental treatments during pregnancy before finally succumbing to treatment, and I already feel guilty about it. I have just finished a book called Mother Guilt, and discussing the basic premise of the book (that motherhood is basically one big guilt trip!) with some of my friends made me realise how becoming a parent changes your every thought. When I was down the beach with friends and their young kids, playing in the waves, I was thinking that is was a beautiful day, that the water felt wonderful (and also probably what was I going to have for lunch). They were thinking, keep an eye on Child one, watch out for big wave, hold on to Child two, Child two is shivering with cold, Child one won't come in, can I leave child one here with irresponsible Sarah, who is only thinking of her lunch? Will she be a good enough supervisor? What if something happens? What if child drowns? Will my wife forgive me? Will I ever forgive myself?

So yeah, I can already see how your priorities and thoughts change so dramatically. And don't get me started on the boobs.

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