Thursday, March 31, 2005

I have just got back from the Dentist for my root canal treatment. This involved an x-ray, so if I give birth to a deformed foetus, you know why. One of the most amazing things about this whole pregnancy thing for me, has been how you (generally, unless dying of tooth ache pain)already put the needs of someone else ahead of your own. I spent hours researching dental treatments during pregnancy before finally succumbing to treatment, and I already feel guilty about it. I have just finished a book called Mother Guilt, and discussing the basic premise of the book (that motherhood is basically one big guilt trip!) with some of my friends made me realise how becoming a parent changes your every thought. When I was down the beach with friends and their young kids, playing in the waves, I was thinking that is was a beautiful day, that the water felt wonderful (and also probably what was I going to have for lunch). They were thinking, keep an eye on Child one, watch out for big wave, hold on to Child two, Child two is shivering with cold, Child one won't come in, can I leave child one here with irresponsible Sarah, who is only thinking of her lunch? Will she be a good enough supervisor? What if something happens? What if child drowns? Will my wife forgive me? Will I ever forgive myself?

So yeah, I can already see how your priorities and thoughts change so dramatically. And don't get me started on the boobs.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Last night in the charcol chicken shop, there was a man in his pyjamas. Now I am certainly not against pyjama wearing in public, in my opinion pyjamas are the most comfortable thing I own, and wearing of them should be heartily encouraged. It is unusual to see a middle aged man in his pyjamas however, this is usually reserved for senile old men and little kids. This man had those pyjamas with the button fly, and was having some trouble with the button in this region. Thank goodness this did not result in full flashing of the crown jewels, BUT, it did allow me to draw the conclusion that he was not a blonde all over. Not a sight for the faint hearted or nauseous.

I know I have spent some here debating if my biological clock would suddenly burst into life and slap me around and announce that it was time to procreate. This hasnt happened - I still feel a sort of i-dont-know-if-i-am-ready to the whole kid thing - but perhaps this is a bit of a self protection mechanism. I read a few blogs of people suffering from infertility - and have always realisticly thought that this may affect me - who knows right? So an indifference means that if I did decide to give things a go, and then nothing happened, maybe I wouldnt be as dissapointed, and consumed with grief like many of these poor women (and men) are.

Well, it turns out I had nothing to worry about. Yeah - baby saminoz due September. Ha, and you think you are suprised, you should have seen Mr R's face. I am having the first ultrasound at 18 weeks (now about 14), so am currently hoping that there is only one and that all is ok. Am getting excited, but also wary, maybe I'll stop worrying when we have a healthy baby in our arms. Or when it leaves home. Or probably never. Talk about a complete change of life - this could seriously lead to me wearing my pyjamas at the charcol chicken shop - will try to remember to keep myself nice....

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

When you get back from a hoilday that it takes approximately twenty seven minutes after returning to work to forget that you even had a holiday.

But it was a nice holiday, even if mostly now forgotten. It started with my best friends wedding, which luckily was not nearly as dramatic as the movie of the same name. Biggest disaster was the reception centre forgetting to put those guests whose surname begins with an "S" on the seating list. So there were all these confused looking "S" people wandering around hoping that they were actually invited to the wedding and had not crashed the party. It took me sometime to understand what the bride was on about when she hissed - "Oh my god, they have forgotten the esses!"

Then we spent a week or so camping, and please remind me when I say that I am going camping that whilst it is great if the weather is great, it can be terrible when the weather is terrible. But I took the time to restore my inner me, and am feeling all the better for that, whatever that means exactly.

A word of warning should you venture down that way, beware of hungry wombats invading tents whilst you are sleeping. Sure you think they are cute when they wander past your campsite, but trust me when I say they are not so cute at three in the morning when you need to bop them on the nose with your torch and then chase them away from your tent.

My four year wedding anniversary is coming up in a few weeks, along with (gulp) my 30th birthday. I am considering a weekend at the Lake House in Daylesford to celebrate/commiserate (and to contrast my last holiday!). Plan is to eat great food and relax before I face the realities of life as a thirty-something. If anyone happens to have been there I would love your review - was it worth the rather exorbitant price tag?

With that rather boring catch up entry, I will try to resume normal update pattern here (ie not very often but at least I am unpredictable! You just never know when there will be anything new! It adds excitement.)

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