Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Every now and then, I think that maybe I might like a baby. They are cute. And they smell nice (usually). And someone has to sleep in all the bedrooms we have post renovation (but they may want to wait a bit until it is actually finished). And I can stay at home and remove myself form office stuff for a while.

But then I think of all the things you have to go through to actually have and look after a baby and I change my mind. Pregnancy scares the crap out of me. Labour is much worse. Then you breastfeed. Then they cry and you dont sleep. And you have to wipe someone else's bum. They are expensive and time consuming and really, you have to be an adult to look after one of those things. And I'm not an adult! At all times you are responsible for the life of another human - they will die if you stuff up and they accidently roll off the change table. Even if you get through the first year without dropping them on their head, then there are other problems like waking up ridiculously early and not eating what you cook them and throwing tantrums. I'm the only one in my house who is allowed to throw tantrums.

On the weekend, one of my friends with two small kids asked me what I had done that day, and if I had slept in. "Not really" I said, "I guess I got up about 9ish". He nearly fell off his chair, and noted that he hadn't slept past 7am for FIVE YEARS. FIVE YEARS - SEVEN DAYS A WEEK. Oh, my, god. The reality was that I had breakfast in bed, read the paper, pottered around and did a bit of housework, did some shopping, went for a walk, visited my sister and cooked a little. A day just for me. A baby means no more days for me. Gulp.

And I know that every parent out there will tell me that it is all worth it, but man - you have to wipe someone else's bum!!

So what I am wondering is, will I get to the point where my biological clock will override my worries about producing and looking after another human being? Will one day I wake up and just not worry about that stuff anymore? Will I look forward to Labour? And what if I wait for that day to come, only to find it never comes - when do I have to override my worries myself?

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