Wednesday, January 28, 2004

This is one of those stories that starts with “ A friend of mine met this girl in a bar”, and I suspect that maybe it wont translate all that well over this medium, but in the spirit of the Australian Open I’ll give it a go anyway. To get the best out of this story, the bit in inverted commas must be pronounced with a thick Russian Accent. Remember that, have a practice now (eg “You are very unactractive man, Vik-tor” or “Stolichnya” or, um, “Peristroika”) Ok, ready?*

So, a friend of mine met this girl in a bar.

This was during last years Australian Open, and when talk turned to all things tennis, she told him a story about one of the tennis players on tour that she had, um, shown around Melbourne the previous year. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

This tennis player was from Russia (and happened to play last night in the quarter finals and beat Andy Roddick – but I’m not mentioning anyone’s name here no siree bob) and whilst he spoke English, it was with a very thick accent and perhaps the words didn’t quite come out the way they were always intended.

So anyway, this girl and this Russian guy were um, about to take a very intimate tour of Melbourne (geez – I am no good at euphemisms, they were about to shag ok!) and this nameless Russian tennis player looked down at this girl and said (remember the russian accent here folks)

“I must break you”

Puts just that little bit of a spin on the breaking of serve… (all puns intended)

* Just a note that this story of course is all told with the disclaimer “allegedly” at the beginning (and yes – you can pronounce that in a Russian accent if you like). The girl could have made it up, my friend could have made it up. But it still makes me giggle.


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